Nothing Changed When we Paid off our Debt

Mr. Vega and I became debt-free a couple of years ago. It happened quietly, and without fanfare. He’d been working hard to negotiate some old, unpaid credit card bills that had gone to collection, and ended up settling about $10,000 worth of debt for around $4,000, one bill, one phone call, at a time. The only thing left was my car payment, which for some reason, I had been stalling on paying off even as we amassed a healthy savings account. Then one day, on a break from work, I called the loan company and did the payoff over the phone. Just like that, we were free from debt.

And nothing changed.

Not having monthly payments outside of rent and utilities is nice, but we have continued to save so aggressively that our lifestyle hasn’t changed: we cook at home, search out free and inexpensive entertainment, consider even the smallest purchases carefully, and do our best to negotiate the best rate for everything we spend money on. This year, I volunteered to be a support person for our bocce league in exchange for free registration ($45), and a $25 weekly credit, which I share with Mr. Vega, at the team’s sponsoring pub. We exchanged both our juicer and our vacuum cleaner several times because we kept finding lower prices. And on our last Date Night, we hustled over to a local bar right after work because the first sixteen customers that ordered cheese plates (normally $16) got them for free. We chase bargains because it’s fun for us: we like getting a good deal nearly as much as we enjoy whatever it is we’re buying or consuming. Living frugally helps us live a little more lightly on our ailing planet, as well: growing and cooking as much food as we can for ourselves eliminates a lot of packaging, as does buying in bulk. Every article of clothing that we buy used or trade with friends is one less thing that has to be shipped from overseas and then driven by truck to our local store. Our habits and practices are right in line with those of our friends who earn less than we do, or who are busy paying off debt themselves. We also socialize with people whom we suspect make and have much more money than we do, but our friendships revolve around time spent together enjoying activities that don’t cost much, so the subject of money rarely comes up.

This week, I made a long-overdue phone call to roll a 401(k) from a previous employer into a personal IRA. I spent quite a bit of time speaking to a customer service agent at the investment firm, who was gathering our personal financial information in order to ensure I was getting into a product that met our needs (and presumably the company’s need for profit, as well). Part of our conversation went like this:

CUSTOMER SERVICE GUY: Okay now, so, if we were to take all your debts, your car loans, personal loans, credit cards, home equity lines of credit, and student loans… how much money would it take to pay all of that off today, hypothetically speaking?

ME: Three hundred and forty dollars. We use an airline miles credit card that we pay off each month.
(pause.)
CUSTOMER SERVICE GUY: WOW. Well, um… Congratulations!

I really enjoyed the feeling of hearing someone who is privy to the innermost financial workings of thousands of families so taken aback. We are not wealthy, earn a modest income, and in fact, are woefully “behind” in our retirement savings, but simply being debt-free is so unusual, it seems, that it rendered this guy momentarily speechless.

So, nothing about how we live our daily lives changed when we paid off our debt. We didn’t buy fancy new wardrobes, take a vacation, or start upgrading our electronics. But there is an indescribable lightness about us now that we go to work every day because we want to be of service and earn money to save for our house instead of showing up just because we couldn’t make the rent if we didn’t. Car troubles for us these days are inconveniences and not crises. And we moved halfway across the country to pursue our dreams knowing that if an emergency should arise for any of our family members, we could afford to be at their side within a day’s time.

Nothing really changed when we paid off our debt… but somehow, everything is different.

 

 

Advertisements

All About That Bocce

When Mr. Vega and I moved to Austin last Summer, building a strong social network was (and still is!) a very high priority for us. We’ve read that close friendships prevent depression, extend lifespans, and lessen the likelihood of long periods of unemployment. Oh, also, it’s fun to have friends! Fortunately, Austin has plenty of opportunities to socialize… outdoor films, free music, art walks, fun runs… you name it. One of the activities we happened across was Austin’s inaugural season of Major League Bocce— which sounds more advanced than it is, as beginners are welcome, too! We’d never played bocce before, and we didn’t have a team to join with, so we signed up to be placed with other random folks, and convened in a little park on a hot summer night to see what we’d gotten ourselves into. We were placed with two other couples and one single guy… all of whom had a fair amount of experience playing bocce, but fortunately for us, the learning curve is pretty shallow (mastering the game, however, is another story!). And while the learning curve isn’t steep, the park where we played is We spent the next six weeks chasing our balls as they rolled down the hill into other players’ courts, hollering “Sorry!” and learning how to roll the ball left to make it go to the right. Afterward, we repaired to the local pub for some adult refreshment and conversation. It was a great good time, and we ended up becoming close friends with one of the couples from our team.

We’re constantly looking for ways to be of service in our new community, so when I learned that Special Olympics Texas has a Bocce Competition, we were eager to help out. We had a great time escorting the athletes to their games, keeping score, and cheering them on. Because they had spent eight weeks training for the competition, they actually had more experience than we did, and we picked up a few tips! More than that, we got to see how truly accessible the sport is for people of all age ranges and with a wide range of physical abilities.

We returned to our second season with a renewed enthusiasm for the game, and when we were asked to help out again, we didn’t hesitate. This time it was a special event at a new apartment complex: They have a bocce court on the property, but none of the residents knew how to play, so we spent a pleasant couple of hours on a chilly Fall night showing them the ropes (at least as well as we know them). The neighbors got to know each other better, and we got to drink some free-to-us beer and play our new favorite game!

Season three will find us back on the bocce court, where we’ll team up with some new faces, and deepen our friendships with the folks we already know. I’m also volunteering with the league this season, so I’m looking forward to getting to know people from a different perspective.

Moving to a new city and creating friendships isn’t easy, but organized social events and sports teams provide an opportunity to get to know a group of people who share your interests, and the repeated exposure gives friendships a little time and space in which to grow. And sometimes it’s nice to mix things up a little, even if you’ve lived in the same place for years… you can never have too many friends in your life! Who knows? Trying something new just might open up a part of life you never knew you were missing!

7 Mistakes I Didn’t Make in My New City

1. Flying Solo

I’m quite comfortable in my own company: my idea of a restorative weekend involves not having to use my vocal cords for a full 48 hours! Long baths, good books, and going on my own to matinee movies suit me just fine. Back home, I have friends who get that, and who will happily spend an afternoon reading alongside me at a cafe or bookstore, or watching films next to me without commenting on every little thing. But building comfortable, intimate friendships requires meeting people and actually talking to them! So, I’m stepping out of my “comfort zone” by joining things like a local bocce league, which gets me out of the house and interacting with live– and very friendly– humans, on a regular basis.

2. Negatively Comparing Everything to Your Old City

If all I focused on was what I missed, I would be one unhappy transplant. I would also be missing out on all that my new city has to offer. Sure, Austin doesn’t have the Arclight Cinemas, but Los Angeles doesn’t have Alamo Drafthouse, where you can get full meals, snacks, and drinks from the bar delivered to your seat during the movie (well, not yet… but there’s one on the way!). And while I love me a good breakfast burrito, Austin has an entire sub-culture devoted to breakfast tacos, which come with the added benefit of not inducing a food coma before noon. Finally, though I have seen a couple of timid drivers sit through several rush-hour traffic light cycles because of some weird Fear of Left Turns that seems to happen here, not one person honked at them. Isn’t that nice? I’m happy to change my own ingrained L.A. driving habits if it means not hearing car horns blasting literally hundreds of times throughout my day.

(Although, it must be said, I truly believe I will never have another Good Hair Day as long as I live in the State of Texas. Southern California weather wins all contests, every time. Just saying.)

3. Only Going to Places that Remind You of Home

My heart lifted just a little in my first days here when I saw a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and an In-N-Out Burger here in Austin. Heck, there’s even a Frenchy’s Beauty Parlor here (okay, that one is a good thing)! But if I only chose to go to the same places I’ve always been, I’d be missing out on the awesome veggie burgers and fries at P. Terry’s, or the on-tap cold-brew coffee at Radio Coffee and Beer. Part of Keeping Austin Weird is supporting businesses that were created by and for the people that live here, and they’ve got a lot of interesting and wonderful things to offer… things we’ve never tried anywhere else!

4. Forgetting Your Old Friends

It’s been a little challenging being in different time zones, but if I didn’t have regular phone calls and video chats with some of my old friends, life would be a lot harder… especially during these first few months while I’m meeting and getting to know new people. In this new place where no one knows me well yet, it’s easy to feel a bit adrift, so I’ve set calendar reminders to call or text loved ones at regular intervals. They’ve been really lovely about reaching out to me, as well, and it’s making all the difference.

5. Thinking Only of Oneself

Mr. Vega and I spent a pleasantly exhausting Saturday morning a few weeks ago clearing brush at Community First! for Mobile Loaves and Fishes, a social outreach ministry that empowers communities into a lifestyle of service with the homeless. It was great to get out and work hard with other people, for other people, and doing something to help alleviate homelessness puts all our temporary moving discomfort into perspective.

We also attended an event at our local political party headquarters, to register to vote and get to know some of the candidates a little better. In Texas, unlike in California, voter registration must be done in the presence of someone who has been deputized to register them… We’re considering getting deputized, so we can help people get registered before the October deadline. It’s another good way to give back to our new community, and encourage others to do the same.

6. Shopping Only at the Grocery Store

We signed up for a weekly CSA box from Johnson’s Backyard Garden. Because we are not from the South, we’ve had the opportunity to get to know some new-to-us produce, like okra, sweet potato greens, and some kind of melon I’d never seen before… thank goodness for the Internet, and its endless supply of recipes! Every week is a new surprise, and we like knowing that it’s all organic and locally grown. If we only shopped at the grocery store, we’d most likely gravitate toward the things we know, and overlook some delicious opportunities!

7. Driving Aggressively

Our first week here, Mr. Vega noticed that, unlike in Los Angeles where drivers pull their cars out into the intesections in anticipation of their left turns, most folks in Austin tend to wait behind the limit lines for a break in traffic (see #2 for the problems that can cause!). Also,  perhaps because of the congestion in this rapidly-expanding city, people have a tendency to cut each other off a lot– or maybe it’s because so few of us know where we’re going! Taking our time, and allowing other drivers the right-of-way when we can has allowed us to become accustomed to the local style of driving, and hopefully, keep the roads just a little bit safer for everyone, here in our new city!

What are some of the mistakes you have made (or avoided) when relocating to a new city?